Monday, January 31, 2005

kapamilya ako me jologs, i wouldn't mind. quever. that remark, after all, would only be as worthy of respect as that which describes me as "charming", and could likewise be given, not on a level less, to one who admits to being a "kapuso", right? and who hasn't a jologs side, anyway? i dare bet that just as everyone has a first-degree relative who lives/works abroad, so does he/she has one, if not he/she himself, who patronizes either of the two top local networks most of the time, wittingly or unwittingly classifying themselves as a "kapuso" or "kapamilya". yes, indeed, most pinoys can now be categorized as that just as whether they are "pro-erap" or otherwise. and that, mind you, is the case even beyond the masa community. and so, again, call me jologs, i wouldn't mind.

since "ang tv" days, or since "tv patrol" with noli de castro, frankie evangelista, mel tiangco and angelique lazo, i think, most of our tv time at home has been spent with abs-cbn (i don't know how it happened, of course it's not as if one day we all just suddenly vocally declared viewership loyalty to the station, nor blind rejection of its closest rival), thus the title of this post, which may seem like expressing pride such that the distinction is ennobling, to the extent of sounding arrogant, but that is hardly my intent. we just happened to be habitual viewers of the station, but never fanatical patrons.

definitely, we do derive more pleasure and satisfaction from watching abs cbn programs most of the time, but i, at least, don't claim absolute excellent taste to be on our side. as much as i abhor mike enriquez, i have to agree with recognitions bestowed on some of gma's public affairs programs, and as much as i adore piolo pascual, i am also guilty of switching channels whenever it's the asia's songbird's or the r & b princess' time to belt at their sunday show.

i ain't a tv critic, nor do i wish to be one. am just a nameless part of what the media call their audience. though i'm completely aware of the audience's potent role over molding media content, being a mass communication student and having worked for both gma and abs once upon a time, it isn't of my current interest (i don't actually think it was, ever) to enthusiastically seek the best television has to offer. i appreciate programs which are evidently labored on, but admittedly, i can be easily pleased -- i laugh at old jokes, cry over touching scenes, and of course, get hooked over some cute guys.

our case may just be that of a viewing habit just being sustained. as they say, "old habits die hard." there may be thousand other or similar cases of how pinoy homes turn out to tune in more to the "kapamilya" or "kapuso" network, but as jologs as it may seem, nagkataong "kapamilya ako".

what, then, did i get out of blabbering about our tv habits? well, i just can't help it. blame it, perhaps, on an overdose of piolo pascual for the promo of his movie, and/or on sleeping late to find out who gets to be the new grand questor.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


You Are 22 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Friday, January 21, 2005

another friday

i got a date tonight and i've got this something in my throat which is making me feel uneasy and telling me i can't kiss my date, or else he'd have the virus by tomorrow morning. hay. actually, i was mildly coughing this morning. i'm blaming the weather and that woman i had to sit beside at the bus two days ago, who was coughing mildly without covering her mouth. i swear i almost bitchily threw a line at her. good thing i was able to control myself that time. anyway, hopefully tonight, when the air's colder again, my cough won't be turning worse.

speaking of the weather, i wonder how colder the days would get, especially next month. i remember feeling the chills while i was walking along nakpil last saturday. i should have worn something over my thin cotton shirt that night, or worn something else. nevertheless, the cute/hot guys around orosa and inside bed that payday saturday definitely made the temperature some degrees higher. hehe.

i think i'll just be staying home this saturday. notwithstanding my and my younger sister's indifference towards our relatives on my father's side, i guess we'll be attending our reunion on sunday anyway. oh well, some sons have to be obedient some of the time.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

learning mandarin

today is my second day in the mandarin class i've enlisted in at the department of foreign affairs' foreign service institute. my first yesterday was ok: our instructor (i only got to know her name because it was on our syllabus), sining marcos-kotah -- a round, Chinese-looking lady roughly in her late 30s -- seems to be good enough not to bore her students (what just distracts me is how she pronounces "verb" as "verv"); and the lesson itself was quite interesting (mandarin is pretty confusing to learn at first, but definitely it's cool getting the sounds right, especially the tones). i've yet to find a buddy from my classmates though, and i'm sure i'd be able to find one from the interesting composition of our class -- majority in their 20s and from the dfa (only limited slots are just actually offered for applicants from other government agencies), and a seeming combination of timid and bubbly personalities.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005


i recently told a friend, quite spontaneously, that i have to experience being in a stable, enduring relationship with a guy to somehow justify for myself and eventually to the "unenlightened" people around me this kind of life i've chosen to live. why so?

you see, like what's often heard in "outing" moments onscreen and offscreen, friends and family alike usually tell the gay character that his queerness is ok to them as long as he's happy, healthy and safe.

happiness. the concept definitely varies as supposedly close as even between a married couple. in my case, being a 23-year old gay man in the closet, plus plus, happiness primarily includes finding the man who's adorable enough to watch while he sleeps, smart enough with whom intelligent conversations can be shared, and faithful enough not to get std from.

unfortunately for me, in my three years in this lifestyle, i've yet to find that man, or at least, be in a relationship with a man for more than five months. someone may really have to possess the skill in falling for the wrong guys, or damn hopefully not, the traits of someone who's destined to grow old alone. i'm afraid i cannot disclose my identity to other friends and especially to my family unless i can't confidently and honestly say that i'm happy being who i am.

i would admit to be envious of guys around my age who have been successful in maintaining long-term m2m relationships. not during a few instances have i caught myself worrying about my age vis-a-vis my chances of finding my brand of "happiness" in this life.

2k4 no doubt goes down to history as just one of those heartbreaking, empty years. i dont expect much, although of course surprises are welcome, in the coming year.